I did not sought after this. I did not ask for this. It happened “upon” me as if a magical element was sent from God.
There comes a time of mourning for anyone who has a chronic disease. Whether cancer has taken refuge in your suffering body, and the results end up becoming a short-term sentence (such was the case for my sister). Or you’re under attack of Lupus (or any other autoimmune disease), which very well could be a life-long sentence… 5 years, or 50 years? Only God knows. But what I DO know is that we will not leave our physical bodies until God decides to bring us home. How do I know this? Because it’s in my DNA… I just know.
I believe that when we first find out that our body is being invaded (or in my case, my body is killing my body), we are faced with the raw disadvantage of knowing our life will never look/feel the same again. At this point we are flooded with memories of our past. I was 48 when I received the diagnosis, and my past started flying past me so quickly that it was hard for me to keep up. It reminded me of the Wizard of Oz. Remember Dorothy looking out her window only to see that mean ole biddy riding her bike through the air? It wasn’t long before the bike turned into a broomstick, and the lady turned into the Wicked Witch of the West! Oh my goodness, how that image haunted my sleep for months after viewing it. So maybe the Wizard of Oz really isn’t a good show for our young children to watch? LOL. Anywhoo… that was me, myself, and I. My Dr. gave me the news… I went home and told Hubs, and then I started to grieve. Before long fear stepped in. Then the tornado of memories overtook my brain. I swear to our great Lord, that I probably spent a week in bed just crying, and throwing a big ole pity party. Memories, memories, and more memories overtook my brain. Things I regretted, things I valued, happy times, sad times… my mistakes. It wasn’t fun.
I also became extremely hard on myself. After all, I’ve been a certified Christian Life Coach since 2005. I coached people not to look into their past unless it was to learn from it. I led them into the future, into their purpose. I taught them that God doesn’t want us to fear. The opposite of fear is faith, and we must walk in faith. So all of a sudden, my life’s work was being tested.
Isaiah 43:1 “Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.”
Fear causes us to buckle and settle for less than God’s best. So, in other words… I wasn’t following my own advice, which is not good.
But it takes time. When someone we love passes, we need to grieve in a healthy way. If our spouse leaves us thru divorce, we need to grieve in a healthy way. If our life as we know it has been altered… we need to grieve in a healthy way. Right? RIGHT.
Do you get the little magazine each month called Simple Grace, by chance? It’s one of my faves. It has Godly stories, a monthly recipe, a craft, and in the back of the magazine are daily devotionals for the entire month. It’s well-worth the annual price for the magazine. I look forward to getting it in my mailbox each month.
Well, two day’s ago I received my March issue where Diane Nichols wrote a story about Aubrie Mindock, a skier who was going into her second race of the day. She was the #1, women’s skier, and if she won this race, she would be heading to the Olympic Qualifiers. Well, she suffered from a TRAGIC accident when her ski broke in half. Here’s what happened, she fractured her skull, broke her neck, arm, knee, and she DIED. Yup… Flat lined… Dead…. GONE. Here’s another thing that happened… her soul went to heaven… and she didn’t want to come back into her shell of a body. She describes Heaven, and the feeling of God’s presence. She discusses seeing and being with her PopPops (her Grandfather).
God told her that she had a choice about going back, and he allowed her to make that choice. She didn’t want to come back to this world, but God told her that he still had a plan for her. The next thing she knew, she felt her Mothers hand on hers, and her Mothers voice crying out for her to come back to her. She did just that, she went back into her earthly body.
The Dr.’s told her that she would never ski again. But here’s the deal… God has the final say. Regardless of her many injuries, she had little pain. Regardless of being told that she would never ski again, she skied TWO WEEKS LATER. She skied with an arm in a cast, two black eyes, and her knee in a brace. And, although she still wanted to be back in heaven… she wrote a book which has helped many people not to fear death. In Aubrie’s words:
“I want others to know that Heaven is real and death is nothing to fear because there is no suffering, no disease, no pain, she says. “There is love like nothing you could ever imagine. In the meantime, God has a plan for each of us here on Earth, and it’s so good. It is perfect. To discover it, we only have to trust him.”
Her book is called, When I saw Heaven
Serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. For me it was a lightbulb moment of beauty, and another step into living in faith. My mourning and grieving are diminishing because I’m receiving different blessings from God than I did before. With that, I am growing. And when we’re growing we are living in faith the plan that God has for us. We may have to take a few detours once in awhile, but it’s always for our benefit when we keep our eyes and heart on Him. Life is a lesson, whether the remainder of it totals 6 months, 6 years or 60 years. It’s what we make of our personal lessons that matter.
My working, volunteering, and socializing has now turned into quite the opposite. Examples? At times I’m too sick to leave my bed, but it allows me to be more grateful for the times I can. There’s times I’m too sick to be with my Grandchildren, but it makes the times I can spend with them even more special. So here’s the deal, there are two sides to every situation, but there’s only ONE side God wants us to concentrate on. It’s important we concentrate on the correct one. Don’t you think?
Proverbs 4:25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
God bless you always,