Close your eyes…


“Close your eyes and imagine

the best version of you possible.

That’s who you really are,

let go of any part of you,

that doesn’t believe it.

-C. Assaud

Yesterday, I was doing a mix of the cha-cha and flamenco in my kitchen while making cookies. I also sang to hubs in my best opera voice (very loudly), until I heard his laughter coming from our family-room. I haven’t quite figured out yet if he laughs because he finds me funny? Or, if it’s his tactic to shut me up? Regardless, his laughter is what I’m after, so I guess it’s a win-win.

With that, I should add that I also received my syringe training today. I have to admit, that learning how to give myself shots was not high on my list of fun activities, especially on one of the only “two” days of the week in which I actually felt healthy. But I was a good little student and I was happy to say, “Bye-bye yellow pills that ruin my life!”

I have renewed hope that my new method of receiving this toxic medication, will lead me into remission! After two years of being in a constant state of sickness… I’m SOOOO READY!

Besides my appointment, and having a long list of errands to get done… I did actually find time to do something fun; baking! Not only do I love it, but hubs enjoys eating my creations. Flops and all… he is not prejudice. We also laughed, watched a movie, and dreamed up some new goals for our future. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like doing any of these things. And by nightfall, I was still feeling pretty darn awesome!

Unfortunately, this morning, I woke up with a headache. But, instead of falling back to sleep (which usually makes it worse) I got up, made some coffee, and ate a small breakfast. Then I took two Excedrin migraine. So far, it hasn’t turned into anything too severe, so I am thankful for that. And, I’m praying tomorrow I’ll actually be able to enjoy Easter. I have found that the second day after my pills is the worse, so we’ll see if the injections are any different.

Which leads me to my topic today: When I’m sick, I’m not only unable to do the things I enjoy, but many of my daily rituals fly out the window also. Yet, when I’m feeling good I go right back to my normal daily habits (which is why it’s a darn good idea to study our habits people). Can y’all relate?

One of my habits that has wings is this:

It took me many years to silence the outside world, in order to hear from my soul. But, I still find it is of the utmost importance for us all to lean in that direction. Or at least balance the scale.

Oftentimes we are so busy in life that we never take the time to close our eyes.

Close our eyes to focus on breath; our life-force. To meditate, to pray, to discern, and to quite simply relax.

I understand it’s extremely hard to do when we’re in chronic pain and/or sick, just as it is when we’re healthy and living our quick paced existence. But, somehow, we need to remember the importance of closing our eyes and discovering who we are, because:

We are not a name
or a weight, or a height, or a gender, or an age.

We are a soul.” -Su

I believe we lose our authenticity when we go through life unaware. Busyness, technology, disease, appointments, functions, on and on and on…

In society, we are bombarded with so much exaggeration… with technology, social media, fake news, fake people, and fake experts… that we not only lose sight of others’ authenticity, but also the authenticity of ourselves.

Who are we? Really?

What is God saying about our life?

Have we even talked to him lately?

What do we stand for?

What makes us happy?

What makes us sad?

Who do we love?

Who and what halts us personally?

It’s important for us to silence ourselves long enough to answer these questions, because we can never learn who we truly are, until we zero in on who we are pretending to be.

It’s time to get on a first name basis with our soul.

I’ve also learned in my coaching career that the people who generally believe they have all the answers to these questions… are generally the ones most in need of “Closing their eyes”. Because no one is privy to this. And to put it bluntly, none of us will have it all figured out until we meet our maker and the answers to our life are revealed.

Thats why it’s important we close are eyes often. To literally “check-in”  and commune with him and listen, in order to follow his direction. And to pray like mad we are discerning correctly.

To all of you who are chronically ill and in pain, I pray you have the strength to close your eyes today. A chance to fall into the arms of our Maker and feel his peace. To all those who are living the fast track, I pray the same. In a society that never slows down, we ourselves hold the power to flip-the-switch.

God bless you,


4/1/18: I’m happy to say that my Easter went well. We were able to see our Grandkids for a couple minutes (which made our afternoon), before heading over to Auntie’s house. We had the best Easter dinner ever… and then bopped over to my parents on our way home. I was tired and weak… but nothing compared to when I took those AWFUL pills. I’ve had no nausea at all… which really allowed me to enjoy my day. I’m very thankful.


God bless everyone, and I pray you’ve had a beautiful Easter.

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