Alone…

I have these days (and you may also) where the world around me becomes much too harried. Much too busy, technical, and unreliable. Things and situations can change in a minute, and I’m left with nothingness in my heart. Today has been one of those days, where my favorite remedy is to crawl up next to hubs on his lazy-boy and let him hug my problems away. Oh, the hugs of my hubs. It’s something we should thank God for everyday, if we’re blessed to be with our spouse. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be all alone, and it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Count your blessings and enjoy your spouse/partner.

Anyway, I was having one of those days today. Other than cuddle time, I just wanted to be alone because I couldn’t think straight. Maybe it was the aftereffect of chemo last night, or my to-do list that keeps getting longer by the minute, but seriously? I couldn’t even figure out which book I wanted to read tonight. Who does that?

Sometimes I think we all get so busy that we just go through the motions of our day forgetting about all the blessings we have.

Last Monday, I woke up with a terribly sick migraine and was ill for about 3 days after chemo. It knocked me for a loop. Last night I had chemo and woke up this morning tired, weak, light-headed and having a hard time walking. I wasn’t sick to my stomach though. Thank God! But I find that when I’m like this, I get depressed. I guess I’m getting tired of doing this every week. I get tired of the bad days before I get to my good days.

So, I called a time-OUT. I was so sick of myself, that I decided to spend the rest of my day one-on-one with God. I believe that everyone needs time alone to reboot. And I’m not talking about the rituals we already do daily. For some of you, I realize this is difficult. Some of you need to be with someone all the time. You’re afraid to be alone with your thoughts. And you don’t like the quiet. But, it’s important to learn techniques that comfort and give your soul peace. That’s how we hear from God. And if you’re not praying and hearing from God, most likely you’re heading in the wrong direction. Because after all, we humans are human.

Mark 1:35 Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. 

 Luke 5:15-16 The news about Jesus spread even more. Large crowds gathered to hear him and have their diseases cured. But he would go away to places where he could be alone for prayer.

Even Jesus would leave his disciples, or those in need, in order to have some alone time with our Father. When we don’t have that time, we forget how blessed we are, we don’t know how God want’s us to handle certain situations in our life. We lose track of what is important.

Your Spot: Do you have a favorite spot in your home? Maybe in the family room with a hot cup of coffee and your favorite afghan? Maybe you like to snuggle up in bed with your kindle or iPad? Maybe you’re a Momma with wee ones, and the only break you have is if you set your alarm clock to get up extra early? Or stay up an extra hour after everyone’s asleep (you’re exhausted with either choice; I know).

If not? Maybe it’s time to create a special spot, just for you?  Do you have a room that is never used? Maybe you could create an office and decorate it in a way that brings you pleasure. Think back to your favorite time in life, and ask yourself what your favorite color was? For me it was when I was a little girl. I loved yellow and pink. So, I personally wouldn’t choose to paint the inside of my house those colors, but I could paint my office those colors. Right?

Or maybe you have a closet that is never used? You could take out everything in it. If it doesn’t have a light, add some battery-operated ones. Paint it your favorite color, a color that makes you happy inside. Set up a little altar, and on top, display some of your favorite things that bring your soul peace. A crucifix? A (battery operated) candle, a picture of your favorite saint? A rock, a feather, a poem? Something that the minute you see it, you just start breathing more deeply and calmly.

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” Matthew 6:6

Note: Jesus was actually telling us not to pray to be seen, as some of the religious leaders were doing in order to look “holy” but instead pray to him in private. However, look where he told them to go pray. Lol

Currently, I’ve been decorating my home (we moved 6 months ago) and since I’ve been sick, it’s been going slow-mo in this household. But I’m happy to say that it’s finally coming together. One thing I haven’t done yet is decorate my office. It will probably be the last room I do. However, I’m really looking forward to creating a spiritual place for me to go and pray, dream, meditate, and write. We all need a place like that. A place to escape. 

If you’re in an office all day and need some space, how about going to your car? It’s quiet in there. Or you have the choice of putting on some of your favorite music to relax. Maybe you could hang a pretty crystal over your rear-view mirror? My sister-n-law has a little dream catcher around hers. What speaks to your heart? We are visual people, and sometimes we need to see something material in order to actually turn inward.

There’s one more thing I wanted to touch on before heading to bed, and that’s Anger.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, Ephesians 4:26

I have found in my field, that there are generally two different ways that people deal with anger.

1)      They get depressed. They hurt, they cry, they don’t understand the why’s or how’s.

2)      They want revenge. (Thinking about it because you’re hurt and angry is different than envisioning, planning, and actually carrying it through. This kind of revenge actually passes as an afterthought.

3)      Or they’re a sociopath, and don’t give a rip, or they’re ready and WILL find revenge. (I thought I’d add the third one following yesterday’s post.)

I’m definitely number 1, but have learned to snap out of it, and to ask God for advice. The second I ask him, I’m rewarded with peace and possibly answers. If I find I’m still confused, I will pick up my bible and I’m shown direction.

For number 2’s, I think its very important to remember the promises God made to us:

A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore, calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: Proverbs 6:12-16

Note: In case you’re wondering? Here is a list of the 7 abominations the Lord hates: 

1. A Proud Look.

2. A Lying Tongue.

3. Hands That Shed Innocent Blood.

4. Heart That Devises Wicked Imaginations.

5. Feet That Be Swift in Running To Mischief.

6. A False Witness That Speaketh Lies.

7. He That Soweth Discord Among Brethren

 

Affliction [something that causes pain] will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned [sentenced to a particular punishment; especially death]. Psalm 34:21

Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:1-4

In other words, God has a handle on it. So repent if you’ve done any wrongdoing and leave it to God. Let your anger go and follow his direction. (Also: Pray for the person you’re mad at. Yes, pray for them.)

God bless each and every one of you tonight. Restful sleep and peace be with you! -Su

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