I don’t care what people say to make themselves feel better about being alone.
Not only did God make us to be in community, he also created us to love and be loved. That’s just the way it is. There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.
As Audrey Hepburn said:
“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”
“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.”
(Audrey Hepburn: Many-Sided Charmer, LIFE Magazine, December 7, 1953)”
I agree with her 100 percent, and it’s never changed with age. When I was younger my friends thought I was weird for needing my space. But it is truly my special time to rediscover myself again. I have my needs. The need to paint my nails, my need to read, my need to journal, my need to write, my need to create, my need to decorate, my needs…
BUT that doesn’t mean I want to be alone. Just the opposite actually. I want my husband. At the end of the night I want to know I can crawl into bed (at any hour; hence insomnia) and snuggle up to his back. I want to be able to feel him roll over and give me a big hug.
I want to say our daily prayers together.
I want to cook and eat together.
I want to watch him from our inside window doing manly things outside in the yard/garage: mowing, yardwork, garage-work (whatever that is, lol).
And I want to have him come in and check on me.
I want to feel his presence. Whether it’s when he’s peeking over my shoulder while I’m writing. Or walking around me as I’m doing dishes. It doesn’t matter. I want him.
“Where are you going with all this Su?”
“Well, I’m so glad you ask!” Although God intended on us to have faith and rely on him, he didn’t intend for us to be alone. Hence; Adam AND EVE. Whether it’s a parent, a best friend, a church group, or our true love… we are meant to be in community, we are meant to be with others. So although there are times and places where we need our aloneness, were not meant to live in aloneness. Does that make sense?
So, lets remember that this coming Thanksgiving. What can we do if were’re alone this holiday season? And what can we do to share our holiday season with others? Hmm, it makes a person think, doesn’t it?
I remember being alone, so I know what it feels like. Everyone “thought” since I had so many friends, and since I had such a loving family… that I had a place to go. NOT. Not only didn’t I have a place to go, but no one in my family even visited me on Thanksgiving or invited me TO Thanksgiving (Xmas). I had gone through a very, VERY painful divorce. I mean, it was so painful I wanted to off myself, to put it bluntly.
My kids went about their usual… visiting their Grammys, and their DAD. But nope. Mom was forgotten. A big Whoop… I’m a grown-up, I can deal with all of that. Kids will be kids and after all, they were both young.
If my sister had still been alive, I would have celebrated with her, because we combined and took turns cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But I had lost her too. I’m not writing this for a big ole pity-party; honest. What I’m trying to get across is that people who you may “think” aren’t celebrating alone? ARE. So don’t be afraid to ask your nearest and dearest. Invite your friends and family to join you! Don’t just expect that they are busy, ok? Promise? I can still hear my Mother gasping on the other end of our phone conversation after finding out I had been spending my holidays with me, myself, and I. She had NO idea! I said, “Mom, who do you think I’ve been sharing my holidays with?” Lol… she had long retired giving holiday meals, and she always went to my brothers. So she didn’t even think about it. God bless her.
“Susan! Why didn’t you tell me!?!!!!??” I told her I just had figured she knew. Ahh, I’ve been going to my brothers ever since, lol. “Thx Momma, Thx Bubby!”
Anyway, for those of you who WILL be celebrating alone, I’d like to share some things that I did to help me get through the holiday(s) i.e., Christmas/Thanksgiving.
1) PRAY: Prayer is the absolute BEST THING YOU CAN DO. Because no one… and I mean NO ONE knows how to make you happy, except God. Not even your significant other.
2) Plan ahead: You know you’re going to be alone? What is your favorite holiday dinner? The sky is the limit!!! Call your favorite restaurant and pre-order it!!! Put it in the freezer and take it out the day of to defrost. Warm it up in your oven so that you can smell all the wonderful smells associated with all your comfort foods.
3) Do you love to cook? Then look up (Google/Bing) holiday recipes for one. Here are some links to checkout:
Make your menu right now and save up your money! Cause it’s time to spoil yourself.
4) Pre-Purchase a holiday book to read. This was one of my favorite traditions! Order your book now, and don’t allow yourself to touch it until the holiday itself.
5) Go through your movie collection and pick out some faves. BUT NO SAPPY SAD STUFF. NO, NO, NO. Pick something that makes you laugh. It’s true when they say that laughter is our best medicine.
6) Start your morning with some light yoga or Tai-Chi. And end your night with the same.
7) Get CREATIVE! What makes you happy? A morning run? A craft? Journaling? Fresh flowers? A special placemat with your good silver? In fact, decorate your table! Don’t be eating while plopped in your lazy-boy!
8) Turn on some Frank Sinatra while closing your eyes and swaying to the music. Be careful not to hit your toe on the end-table and fall over just because you were reaching for air to help support your bad self. It doesn’t end well; trust me.
9) Go purchase a nice card and write a letter to someone in the service. There are many men and women fighting for our independence; our freedom, who are also spending the holiday alone. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ… so write to one of your brothers and sisters overseas. In fact, do this whether you’re alone or not.
10) Go take some dog food/cat food to the humane society. Buy some treats and ask them if you can give some to the animals. (Make sure the box of treats aren’t open prior to asking the shelter for permission). https://ladyfreethinker.org/help-your-local-animal-shelter-during-holidays/
11) Go visit the elderly! Contact your local nursing homes/assisted living homes and see if you can set times to visit. Do their nails, play a game, watch a movie, share a favorite book, etc.
RULES: NO SOCIAL MEDIA OF ANY KIND! YOU’LL BE BOO-HOOING ALL OVER THE PLACE! YOU MAY EVEN GET YOUR MASCARRA ALL OVER YOUR SATIN PILLOWCASES. GOT IT? GOT IT!
You get the point. There are others who are ALSO alone. Not only can we spend a holiday pampering ourselves, we can reach out to others who are needing some TLC. Holidays are not a time to mope, you hear me? What did the Three Wise Men do when visiting baby Jesus in the Manger? THEY BROUGHT GIFTS.
Let the holidays be a time to gift all over the place! Purchase a special gift for yourself. Just spoil your awesome self royally! But don’t forget to gift to others in any way you’re able. Time, talent, or treasures. Something I like to call the 3T’s.
As Nike’ would say: Just do it.
(photo from coolspotters.com)
God bless each and every one of you! I luvya’s!
Ps. When you ARE alone? Think of these wonderful words, because you just can’t get any more soothing words than these. They lull me. “Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”
Thank you Norton Juster! Just THANK YOU! Taken from:
Home Alone photo from: youtube.com (25th anniversary trailer)
Friends Photo from: tvguide.com