“As I start each day I have a blank canvas. I will make every effort to fill it with color.” – Wylie R. Weeks
There’s something very refreshing to me when I read this quote. How does it make you feel? Like you’re ready to go out into the world and do a happy-dance?
Or does it give you a chill of anxiety because you feel you’re bound by your spouse/partner/roommate/child’s mood/ or current obstacle that day? People can say that it’s up to you to make yourself happy, but we all know there are certain situations in our lives that are completely out of our control.
You’ve all heard this saying, correct? “There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you can’t accept it, change it. And if you can’t change it, leave it.” I don’t know who wrote it, but he/she is pretty darn wise. It may be one of those flippant things that come out of our mouths when our friends are complaining about the same issues 10 years later, lol. But how often do we sit down and take an inventory about the things that WE are stressing about?
If you’re suffering from something and it’s wreaking havoc in your life… sit down with a piece of paper, write your situation(s) down, and then make three columns titled: Accept it, Change it, Leave it.
Before you start your checkmarks, think long and hard. For instance, if you’ve been in an abusive (emotional, physical, or sexual) relationship with a man you love, and he continues to tell you that he’ll change, but he doesn’t follow through? Then you need to checkmark the leave column. Now that you know it’s something you’re going to do, you can create your safety plan to get out. NOTE: I’m just using this as an example. If you truly are being abused please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-SAFE (7233) to create a safe plan.
If you’re in a relationship where he’s grouchy and opinionated, and it drives you up the wall. But in every other area he’s great? Then most likely you would check the accept column. However if his opinions and grumpiness are effecting your relationship? Then maybe you’d want to check the change column. Maybe you could ask him/her to go to a couples coach, therapist, or pastor with you? If things don’t change, then you can accept it or leave it, right?
It all sounds so easy, but it’s extremely difficult to see our own issues, this task allows us to brainstorm. It creates an opportunity for us to get our issues out of head, see them on paper, and fit them into the proper category. It doesn’t do us any good to go around and around the same mouse wheel of thoughts in our brain. It doesn’t do us any good to complain about the same things day in, and day out. It doesn’t do us any good to rely on our friends to listen to our same issues over, and over, and over.
I actually keep huge 3 ring binders (I’ll do a video on it in the future) for different areas of my life.
- One holds important family information for my husband upon my death. Since I’m the one who pays the bills and files our paperwork, and keeps track of our passwords, etc. This binder shows him where to find everything. and it stays hidden in a place that only he and I know.
- I have another binder for holidays, where I store the name of games that were a hit or miss. Gifts I’ve bought, and an envelope for receipts. I also write down my families favorite foods/recipes, how I decorated the year before, the main colors I used, and ideas for future gifts etc.
- Another 3-Ring binder is for my Health, where I keep notes for my upcoming Rheumatologist Appts, Neurology Appts, MD Appts, GYN Appts, that way I have everything ready for them at a moments notice. I also keep copies of my bloodwork, office visits, payments, MRI CD’s, and insurance info in there.
- And lastly, I have a large three ring binder to start my year. The quote on my featured image today is what I put on the front of my binder for 2019. I absolutely love it! “It feels so good to be lost in the right direction!” It reminds me of many things, especially that, “all things work for good to those who love God and have been called for his purpose. Romans 8:28
This verse was a hard one for me when I was younger, because I still wanted to control every situation. I had a hard time relying on faith alone. The traumatic experiences I went through taught me to run my life on high-alert. But God taught me to rest in him alone. He has a good reason for allowing things to be the way they are, we just have to let go. Even if it means leaving things or people that we love. If there is continual strife, it’s important to pray, discern and check off one of those columns I mentioned above.
Which brings me back to my last Binder #4, and it’s my favorite…a new year, a fresh slate, a brand-new canvas. In this binder I have many different tabs. The first is my monthly calendar, and then my daily to-do’s, another tab is for encouraging quotes that touch or uplift me, another tab is labeled: comical. Why? Because we all need a good laugh (especially when we have our hard days). I paste funny comics or cut out funny articles from my magazines. I write down list of movies that cracked me up, or books that made me laugh out loud. I paste funny pictures of animals, because I LOVE animals. If my hubs makes me laugh (which is often) then I’ll write down what he said or did. I have another tab labeled: MY FAVES. If I see a new nail color I want try, this is where I jot the name down. I also add new recipes, new crafts, or a class I want to take.
This year I’ll be adding a new tab that will instill my worries and prayers. I think it’s fun when I witness my prayers to God answered! It will also be the place I put my struggles/hardships, with the 3 columns: Accept it, Change it, Leave it. Because I feel like many of us make decisions based on impulse, or we do the opposite and procrastinate by thinking things to death. Many times there’s no middle ground. We need to stop, take a breath, and see which column these things fall into, so that we can create steps toward a successful outcome.
God bless each and every one of you!
UPDATE on my health: All is good, except for plain exhaustion from the holidays. I have a biopsy on the 10th. My birthday is on the 11th and hubs birthday is the 12th, so I’m feeling pretty lucky! It HAS to be good news, right? I’ll let ya’ll know how it goes. Please lmk how YOU are doing also. 😊